Finding Care for Self Right Now
by: Nita Lapinski

Many friends and clients ask me what I see with what’s happening in our world. I’m reluctant to talk about how I feel, as we are in a tender time and easily hurt or angered. Covid-19, racial disparity, gender issues, politics, religion, our collective consciousness, and how we express these have become contentious and, in many cases, shatter delicate relationships.

The eruption and spread of Covid-19 was not a surprise to me, because in my reality, everything is connected. Everything. Tragically, people are dying alone, separated and isolated from those they love.

Covid-19 is remarkably contagious, dangerous, wide-spread, and requires us to separate. It is a physical manifestation of our fear, anger, vulnerability, and fatigue, which is what we experience with the virus. This kind of fearful global thought has been gaining momentum for about a decade.

Over the years, we have become more polarized and less accepting of each other’s differences and surer of who is right and who is wrong. Middle ground no longer exists. We are intolerant of difference of opinion on any topic, whether it be racial inequality, politics, religion, or basic rights. Nowadays, you must be on one side or another. We each believe our view is the right one. If others don’t agree with or believe in what we do, we label them stupid, short-sighted, and ignorant.

I believe the universe is always reflecting belief and collective consciousness back to us.

I don’t have a magic answer or deep wisdom that might save us. There is only myself and a choice each day of who I will be. I do my best to practice humility, not to judge the choice of another as right or wrong, or good or bad, and instead ask, “What can I give? How can I support?” I will not label you as a good person or bad based on your choice to wear a mask or drink and drive or if you lose your temper or vote for someone I wouldn’t. There is no need to make you wrong so I can be right. Because of this, there is an absence of fear, anxiety or dread in my life. Gone is sadness or disgust with the growth of others; rather, I am happy with myself. I am grateful for all that I have and all that I am and I speak it daily.

My best advice is don’t waste time trying to figure out what happened or who is responsible. Be gentle with yourselves and each other. Don’t judge yourself and you will judge others less. Respond with love and understanding. Help others and lift them up without discrimination. As we shift who we are, what and how we think, we let go of fearful anxiety and blame. As we practice acceptance of ourselves, we open to love. This is how we change the world.

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