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Re-igniting Your Relationship

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Do you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain?

You don’t have to answer… these are just the lyrics to a familiar song about a longtime couple who went “looking” for adventures in romance and wound up re-discovering one other.

Maybe one of the reasons the song has stood the test of time is because many men and women can relate. Keeping a relationship fresh can be challenging when you’ve been together for a long time. Jobs, kids, parents, stress, plus the effects of aging can all take a toll.

If the romance between you and your partner tastes a little flat, don’t assume it’s “love on the rocks.” There are many things you can do. Think of this list as a swizzle stick for your marriage, stirring up all those feelings from when you first fell in love! So, belly up to the bar and let’s see what’s on the menu.

Write a Love Letter to Your Spouse

Everyone loves to feel loved. Spending some time thinking about and expressing what you love and appreciate about your partner is a great way to re-kindle some of those feelings. Human psychology often leads us to take things (and people) for granted. Let your spouse know you are still in love with him or her. There’s a good chance that some of those little details you fell in love with haven’t changed a bit.

Try Something New Together

Whether it’s a new restaurant, a weekend away to a place you’ve never been, or a salsa class, doing something new together will boost both of your dopamine levels and give you that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling we associate with new love. According to Psychology Today, studies show that learning a new activity together strengthens a couple’s bond.

Kiss More Often

Did you know that simply by smiling, you can improve your mood? The physical act has an impact on your mental state. In the same way, you can increase feelings of love and attraction by simply making an effort to kiss, touch, and cuddle more often with your partner. Give it a try!

Revisit Special Places

Where did you meet? Go on your first date? Did you have a particularly romantic encounter, for example on a cruise or vacation? Go back to that place and watch how the triggered memories can rekindle your flame.

Fix Your Physiology

Sometimes there is a physiological component to why you just aren’t “feeling it.” Hormone imbalance can take a toll on your sex life, creating loss of libido, erectile dysfunction, and vaginal dryness. Low hormone levels can cause belly fat build-up and a reduction in lean muscle mass, making you feel less attractive. Out of whack hormones can even tank your mood, create anxiety, or launch you into depression. If any of this sounds familiar, a SottoPelle provider may be able to help. Bioidentical hormone replacement with pellet therapy is a safe, proven way to bring your hormones back to healthy levels so you can look and feel your best.

So, whether it’s piña coladas, whiskey sours or a cold glass of non-alcoholic bubbly water, let’s toast to your relationship and all the ways to keep it fresh and fun even as the years go by!

A Day in the Life – Part 2

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Kendra stood with her Skechers glued to the step and tried to breathe and not burst into flame (the hot flashes were worse when she was outside). By nature of the app, none of her would-be suitors could message her unless she accepted the kissy lips. But could she do it?

The app was supposed to be just for fun, to get her confidence up, a game. She had never planned to actually do anything with it. She’d only been officially divorced for a year now. It was too soon. Jasmine would struggle.

Kendra’s finger hovered over the icon.

Besides, she wasn’t ready for this. Dating? Possibly love? She felt like a sack of potatoes banged against the wall most days. A flaming sack of potatoes banged against the wall other days. She was so tired. And busy. She didn’t have time for this.

But this was First Kiss Kyle. How could she not?

The door opened suddenly and there stood Jasmine, her pretty face worried under a sloppy bun. She was a carbon copy of Kendra at that age, dark blue eyes, delicate features. She’d been dating Kyle when she was Jasmine’s age, before his family moved to California.

Did he know who she was, too?

“Mom? Why are you standing out here in the dark?”

Kendra looked around. Sure enough, the sun had set. An explosion of stars lit the sky. Although she had lived in this house for the past 15 plus years, Kendra suddenly felt like she had never seen this place before, had never stood on this step, had never been touched by this wind or this sky or this feeling.

“Come inside, Mom. Let’s watch something.”

In a daze, Kendra stepped inside.

But before she did, she tapped the thumbs up beside Kyle’s “kissy lips.”

Methods to Maintain Sexual Health

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We’ll get straight to the point: Let’s talk about sex.

There’s a notion that older adults have no business in any sort of sexual activity. However, as we’ve previously shared in our post on how to ‘Get a Bang Out of Aging This New Year’, intimacy is an integral part of our being, and it’s imperative that we care for our sexual health.

This is why it’s high time we break the taboo that surrounds conversations about sexual health. After all, sex is a normal part of the human experience, and should be treated as such. So, we’ve rounded up some key methods for you to maintain your sexual health in this stage of your life and beyond.


Exercise More Often

According to a study conducted by Anglia Ruskin University, older adults who are more sexually active are more likely to experience a greater enjoyment of life. But, it’s important to note that in order to be sexually active, you must be physically active as well. While sexual desires won’t disappear as you age, our agility and flexibility are expected to decline. And since sex is essentially a form of exercise, you must be in good shape to prevent pain or even injuries. To keep your body in tip-top condition, you should engage in cardio exercise at least three times a week. Cardio workouts, such as jogging, swimming, and dancing, help secure both your physical and sexual health, as these exercises help increase your body’s stamina and endurance, while also enhancing heart health.

Talk to Your Healthcare Provider

Developing a healthy sex life in your middle age may be difficult, as some struggle to cope with the physiological changes. Luckily, healthcare providers can help you overcome these huge psychological barriers. Indeed, their support is needed now more than ever, as Maryville University notes the demand for health services managers is expected to rise to 17% by 2024. Their support goes beyond medical assistance, as they teach and rehabilitate their patients who are adjusting to this new stage of their life. As such, you shouldn’t be afraid to open up to them about whatever it is you’re feeling — whether it’s physical or psychological distress. After all, poor mental health can have adverse effects on your physical state: People struggling with depression and anxiety, for example, may find that these issues also affect their sexual health.

Be Mindful of Your Diet

As you get older, one of the biggest hurdles your sex life will face is how your reproductive organs will function. For some men, they’ll find that achieving an erection can be quite the challenge due to poor blood flow and testosterone loss. Meanwhile, women experience a significant loss of estrogen as they age, which can lead to vaginal dryness. Although these physical changes may hinder your sexual performance, you can overcome these obstacles by adopting healthier eating habits.

True enough, University of Minnesota’s Jamie Feldman notes that men should incorporate plant-based and heart-healthy food into their diet to help protect their erectile function. Meanwhile, a nourishing diet also proves vital for women, too, as consuming superfoods like soybeans, flax seeds, and fruits like apricots, peaches, and strawberries will help boost estrogen levels. All in all, a healthy diet is key in promoting sexual health.

Talking about sexual health may still be taboo, but there’s no reason to feel ashamed about caring for your own. At the end of the day, your sexual feelings are completely valid — no matter your age.

Article specially written for sottopelletherapy.com

Prepared by Alicia Wilson

A Day in the Life – Part One

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It was 7:30PM and Kendra still had 1000 steps to go. Even though it was the last thing she wanted to do, and even though there was a half-full bottle of pinot grigio in the fridge, Kendra pulled on her Skechers.

“Jasmine!” she yelled into the abyss of her living room, “Come walk with me!”

“Homework!” came the disembodied voice from the next room.

Kendra huffed and clipped her FitBit to the waist of her yoga pants. Her head fairly spun with the neverending to-do list of a 47-year-old single mom, plus she had classes of her own to catch up on. Not to mention her new job at White Owl Publishing required… what was it they called it?

Oh, yes, creativity.

As if her brain had any room in it for that.

It didn’t break Kendra’s heart that her daughter didn’t want to walk with her. At least she wouldn’t have to explain what she was doing on her phone while they walked.

Her forbidden secret.

The scent of Woods’ rose was thick in the Scottsdale evening air as Kendra logged the first 100 steps down her driveway onto the paved road. The sky was the dark, sleepy blue of a missed sunset. Two younger models of walkers passed her, looking far better in their yoga pants than she did. Kendra remembered the not-so-distant past when she’d had firm, muscular legs, too. When she’d been able to talk and jog and breathe at the same time. When her body didn’t feel like it was constantly being run over by an invisible truck. When her brain wasn’t full of taffy. When she wasn’t overwhelmed.

She was just passing 300 steps when she stopped feeling sorry for herself and pulled out her phone.

“I am healthy. I am strong. I am vital.” She whispered the mantras to herself as she logged into the account she’d made a week ago on the site Ximena had recommended to her–the one all the divorcees were using. Her profile pic was a bit outdated, but it still looked like her, sort of. Sure, her short, dark hair was thicker and more lustrous, she’d been a healthy weight, and everybody lied in their profile pics anyway, right?

It was just for fun anyway. Kendra checked her activity to see if she’d gotten any “action” as Ximena called it, and almost tripped on her 565th step.

Holy franks and beans, she had ten more “kissy lips”!

Something about that both thrilled and terrified her at the same time.

She scrolled through the list of men, quickly swiping away the obvious nos. After turning back toward home and logging another 400 steps, she’d whittled it down to three potentials. James was a handsome bespectacled widower, but his prose was heavy with grief and neediness. Cole’s profile was promising, but there was more information about his English bulldog Ruby than there was about him, and Kendra was a card-carrying cat lover. The third one was a handsome salt-and-pepper airline pilot with a nicely-trimmed beard and a friendly smile… what was his name again?

Kendra caught another whiff of Woods’ rose as she stabbed at the phone with her finger while logging the last hundred steps back up her driveway to the front door.

Kyle. That was it. Kyle.

Wait a minute.

Kendra stopped short just before smacking her nose into her front door. She squinted at the photo. She didn’t have her glasses. She needed her glasses! She squinted harder.

It couldn’t be.

But it was.

Kendra gasped. The metal windchimes in the entryway sang mournfully in the dry breeze, and something like a wave of desert wildfire spread across Kendra’s chest and up her neck to her scalp, making her feel like she might spontaneously combust at any second.

This wasn’t just any Kyle. This was Kyle from high school thirty years ago. This was Red Converse Kyle, the star player on the volleyball team. This was Let’s Study Together Kyle.

This was I’ll Walk You Home Kyle.

This was First Kiss Kyle.

Hugging for your Health

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Hugging for your Health

We all know that hugs make us happier, but can they really keep you healthy?

As little kids we were told about an apple a day, but can a hug a day really keep the doctor away too?  Recent studies have shown that “hugging protects people who are under stress from the increased risk for colds [that’s] usually associated with stress,” notes study lead author Sheldon Cohen, a professor of psychology at Carnegie Mellon University in Pennsylvania. Hugging “is a marker of intimacy and helps generate the feeling that others are there to help in the face of adversity.”

 

Some experts attribute the stress-reducing, health-related benefits of hugging to the release of oxytocin, often called “the bonding hormone” because it promotes attachment in relationships, including between mothers and their newborn babies. Oxytocin is made primarily in the hypothalamus in the brain, and some of it is released into the bloodstream through the pituitary gland. But some of it remains in the brain, where it influences mood, behavior and physiology. How hugging fits in: “When you’re hugging or cuddling with someone, [he or she is] stimulating pressure receptors under your skin in a way that leads to a cascade of events including an increase in vagal activity, which puts you in a relaxed state,” explains psychologist Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine. One theory is that stimulation of the vagus nerve triggers an increase in oxytocin levels.”(1)

Science is proving what our mom’s and even common sense has proven throughout our lives, kindness and love has amazing healing properties. When we feel stressed our bodies suffer, but when we feel that reassurance, support and a simply put gesture of love – it thrives.

I have started an experiment where I am hugging people I love at least 30 seconds a day.  It seems silly, but so far, the results are amazing.  I feel very happy doing it and the person I am hugging seems happier. It’s not a scientific study but does it have to be? Just go ahead and hug someone.

Source:

(1) https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging